Out the Other Side Again.

The second week of this year was rocky. So rocky, in fact, that I became more paranoid than I have been in a long time. I was despondent, and, when I wasn't paranoid, I was so emotionally blank that I shut myself off from everyone and everything. Unfortunately, what I needed the most was some love and affection but due to things beyond my control, that was pretty unattainable.
Things came to a head the other day, Monday, in fact, but I didn't want to write about it then. It felt like it was too soon, I think. I don't really know. I just wasn't ready. I'm not entirely convinced that I'm ready even now, to be totally honest.
I'm going to say I don't know what brought it on. I sort of do but the reason isn't for the internet. I'm open on this blog but there are things even I want to keep to myself. And realistically, a lot of these paranoid episodes I have are sudden and out of nowhere and I think this time, it was just too many things that came together and came out of nowhere all at the same time. Yeah. I spent the entirety of Tuesday wanting to either throw myself in front of a bus or from a high area.
In the end, it was nothing that a good long talk couldn't pull round and, even though I'm feeling a little worse for wear, I'm pretty much out the other side again now.