1. "What have you got to be depressed about?"
Someone said this to me once. He was the chief instructor at the karate club that I taught at. He then mocked me in front of the entire club at a grading. How professional... Needless to say, I haven't been back since.
2. "But you've got it so easy!"
Yeah, my life must seem pretty cushty when you compare it to other things but that's not really the point here.
3. "Why are you depressed? You're young!"
Why is age a factor? How the fuck are you to judge that?
4. "Tell your doctor that you don't need those drugs."
Well I would love to be able to tell my doctor that. Unfortunately, I've tried going without them: I had horrifying, mind-bending hallucinations, ridiculous paranoia and nearly had a full mental breakdown. I'm going to wait until they tell me that I can reduce my dose/stop taking them. Thankyouverymuch.
5. "Tell your therapist that she doesn't know what she's talking about."
I think you don't know what you're talking about.
6. "Just cheer up." "Just snap out of it." "Pull yourself together." "Get a grip."
Oh shit, man, I never thought of that! Holy crap, you have just revolutionised my life.
7. "I was depressed once."
I can't even think of something to write here. That's nice? I dunno...
8. "Why are you so miserable?"
Oh I dunno... Maybe it's just because my brain is chemically imbalanced in some way through no fault of my own - usually it's relating to how I was bullied horrifically as a child. I just can't get those negative voices out of my head now that I'm all grown up.
9. "What are you crying about now?"
Honestly? Fuck knows. I'm just really fucking sad and everything - yes, every single goddamn thing - is bothering me/making me paranoid/upsetting me. I can't control it. I can guarantee it's more annoying/scary for me than it is for you.
10. "Well [x, y and z] bad things have happened to me and I'm not depressed."
Congratulations? Well done? What do you want me to say? What are you trying to do? Are you trying to make me feel worse because that's what's happening here...
11. "You're just weak."
Thank you. Truly, thank you, so much, for that. That's exactly what I needed right now - some heartless scumbag making me feel even more worthless.
12. "You must be so brave."
This is an odd one. It usually just makes me really uncomfortable. Is it big headed to agree? Am I being ungrateful if I disagree? Ugh just smile and nod, Sarah, accept the compliment in a noncommittal way...
13. "It must be nice."
What must be nice? Hating myself? Feeling worthless? Having no energy whatsoever? Constantly putting myself down? Being heavily reliant on medication? Yeah, it sounds like a ball. Who knows what I'm always so down about...
14. "Why would you ever want to kill yourself?!"
Wow, you honest to god really just asked me that? I'm not even... I can't even... None of the things that I want to say will organise themselves into words right now - that is how angry I am. I think I'll just stab you instead. Thanks for your judgement though. Your opinion has been noted.
15. "What's it like when you're depressed?"
Fucking horrible. I'm still human though - I can still work and clean and look after myself most of the time. I get that you're curious but you could just ask the internet before you offend someone.
These are all things that friends, co-workers, family members etc have said to me. Unfortunately, those aren't the responses I gave at the time. Nor are they really what I felt at the time either, to be honest. At the time, I tended to just be so confused/angry/upset that my ever-so-pleasant persona came over me and I answered kindly, as if talking to a curious and mildly offensive child. Or gave a sympathetic response. One of the two.
There was one occasion when I'd reached the end of my rope and I responded with: "Well, I guess when I tried, and failed, to off myself this summer, I figured that I should probably keep going to therapy and taking my meds. I think they're probably right about my depression..."
Sorry for the second rant - this wasn't deliberate, I'm just feeling cantankerous, I guess. Christmas and all that...
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