So next week heralds the end of my CBT sessions. I'm almost looking forward to it - my Monday mornings can be my lazy day lie-in again for the first time in forever! It's not only that though, I'm excited to be able to really have a chance to do this on my own at last - to test myself and see if I'm ready to stand up without Sarah as my weekly safety net.
Standard procedure for the end of a session of intensive CBT is 'give it three months and reevaluate'. So on March 21st - fitting, I believe at least, since it's the first day of Spring - I've got to see where I'm at and how far I've come mentally and physically as to whether I needed any top-up sessions or new courses of therapy etc. In a few weeks I'm back at the doctors to see how my medication is going. I'm finally used to not having so much Diazepam now so everything has calmed down nicely where that's concerned. Eventually I'll be able to come off everything, I think, but I'm not sure when - if tablets and them occasionally making me ill or really hyper is the price I have to pay to deal with the depression and anxiety, then I'll go through with it gladly.
As far as my psoriasis goes, it's getting steadily worse but I don't particularly want to go back to the hospital about it. I'm thinking just sun-beds and lots of intensive moisturiser - I'm not using my steroid creams at all any more, they're just too damaging for my skin. They make it thin and fragile and greasy and eventually, I get resistant to them so they stop working and I end up needing stronger ones. Frankly, they're foul. They look awful. They smell awful. They feel awful. Some of them stain clothes and bedding. It's just not fun. It could certainly be worse but if I can get by without I'm damn well going to!
On a substantially happier note, I got some new Benefit make-up recently which I've been desperate to try out properly. I got Brows A-Go-Go yesterday to go with todays eye brow waxing (first ever wax, it's really not that bad!) so I think I'm going to use that properly tomorrow when I go out to visit Stitch whom I haven't seen in quite a bit over a year. I'm taking cupcakes, six vanilla and six chocolate, as a 'sorry it's been so long but now I've got a working oven' present for him, Kymmie and Harrison. I'm looking forward to it. It's always a really relaxing environment and we've been good friends for ages ergo I'm fully intending to spend the vast majority of the day there.
I also got two assignments from college today, one is solely a photographic project - painting with light in order to advertise a product - and the other is an essay that has to be accompanied by an image in the style of the photographer that you chose to do the essay about. I'm looking forward to both of them - mostly the painting with light one, to be honest - and I've got a pretty long time to do them both too.
For the remainder of the time before I sleep I think I'm going to read. Nighty night!
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